The Great Danville Cold Wars
(The Illustrious Crackpot)
There was a miserable groan, as well as a loud snuffling noise, and a long, thin arm poked groggily out from beneath the bright pink bedspread. It groped around a little, slender fingers scrabbling over the surface of the nightstand, fumbling across a framed photograph, an alarm clock, and an address book without success. Then, with a heartwrenching AAAAAAAARGH!!, the hand simply ripped off the covers and the girl sat straight up in bed, banging her fists against the wall.
This is STUPID!! Candace cried, snatching a box of tissues off the floor now that she could see where it had gotten to. Tearing sheets out like wings off of flies, she slammed her already-bright-red nose into the stack and blew hard, the resultant noise ending up just slightly softer than a foghorn. Once finished, she dropped the pile into a nearby wastebasketthen froze in horror, and with another cry was forced to tear another wad out of the tissue box and repeat the process over again, feeling progressively more winded each time.