Phineas and Ferb Porn Story: Truce Chapter 1

Bzzzzzzz.

Bzzzzzzz.

Bzzzzzzz.

Perry opened one cautious eye. He
glanced around the darkened room, making sure that he was the only
one awake. Then, certain that he was, he turned his attention to his
vibrating right foreleg. Pushing back a patch of fur, he revealed his
super secret spy watch, and pressed a little button on its side. It
fell silent and still.

Perry sat up, taking care not to
disturb Ferb, on the foot of whose bed he was sleeping. He whipped
out his fedora and placed it on his head, before jumping to the
floor, crawling under the bed, and diving into the secret chute
underneath.

Moments later, he fell into his
chair in his familiar hideout. He pressed a button, and the giant
screen before him flickered to life.

Glad you could make it, Agent P,
said Major Monogram as his image appeared on the screen. We have
an emergency. Its Doofenshmirtz again. Hes been buying
seemingly random items off the Internet. I have a list of the items
right here.

Perry pulled out his communicator
and opened the notes application.

Monogram felt his pockets. Wheres
the list? Karl, have you seen the list?

No, sir, came Karls voice
from behind the camera.

I I thought I put it in my
pocket. Monogram looked puzzled. Hold on, Agent P. Ill have
it in a moment.

Monogram walked away from the
camera. Perry could here him rummaging around. A couple bumps, bangs,
and frighteningly loud crashes, plus a muffled ouch came from
off-screen. Perry rolled his eyes.

Monogram reappeared a few moments
later, looking rather disheveled. One of his eyebrows and half his
mustache had been singed off. Sorry about that, Agent P, he
apologized. But I found the list! He held up a little sheet of
paper, and began to read from it. Ten industrial-size fans, a
twenty-foot long log, two chainsaws, an extra-long drill bit, and two
coils of rope.

Perry entered the data into his
communicator.

I dont know what Doofenshmirtz
is up to, but it cant be good, Monogram went on. Its up
to you to stop him, Agent P. Were counting on you.

Perry saluted and ran to his
hovercar. In moments, he was skimming over the Danville suburbs
towards downtown.

It wasnt long before Perry
reached the familiar skyscraper. He guided his hovercar up to the
roof, switched it into autopilot mode, and then leaped off. He landed
lightly next to a hatch that Doofenshmirtz had had installed for him
when hed gotten sick of Perry busting through the ceiling. Opening
the hatch, Perry dropped down into the building.

Inside, it was quiet a little too
quiet. Suspiciously, Perry hid behind some nearby crates. Then he
heard a swish and looked up. Something large and pink was shooting
down towards him. Before he could dive out of the way, the something
had wrapped around him, pinned his arms to his sides, and lifted him
up in the air. Then the contraption juddered forwards, carrying Perry
deeper into the room.

Ah, Perry the Platypus, said a
familiar squeaky voice. The machine came to a halt in front of a
goofy-looking guy in a lab coat– Perrys nemesis, Dr.
Doofenshmirtz. Your visits are always so unexpected– and by that
of course I mean completely expected! He grinned at Perry
and said, So before I show you my latest evil invention, how do
you like my new trap? Comfy, right? Its plush. I made it myself.
Believe it or not, even after making my Doofania model, I still had a
lot of felt.

Perry glanced down at the trap that
held him. It was indeed rather soft.

So, do you like it? asked
Doofenshmirtz.

Perry nodded.

Good, said Doofenshmirtz. You
might as well be comfortable before I get rid of you once and for
all, right? Well, come on, and Ill show you my latest invention.

Doofenshmirtz made his way to the
far side of the room. The trap carrying Perry followed behind it.

Here we go, said
Doofenshmirtz. So, what do you think?

Perry looked at the thing before him
in confusion. Suspended from the ceiling by ropes was something huge,
long, and wooden. It was shaped sort of like a hollow tube, with
large holes on the top– like a very large, very strange instrument.
One of its ends poked out an open window.

Above the wooden thing was another
contraption. This one consisted of a bank of huge fans mounted on a
trolley. The trolley sat on a rail that was attached to the ceiling.

Impressive, right? said
Doofenshmirtz.

Perry gave him a confused look.

You dont know what it is?
Doofenshmirtz looked exasperated. This, Perry the Platypus, is how
Im going to right the wrongs that have been done to me! He
pointed to the fan machine. I call a Blow-inator. Catchy, right?
And that– he pointed to the wooden thing thats a giant
replica of a traditional Dreuselsteinian nose flute.

Perry shot Doofenshmirtz another
confused look.

You see, back in Dreuselstein in
the days of my youth, I was quite good at playing the nose flute,
Doofenshmirtz explained. I was the star of my schools orchestra
because of it. People would even come from neighboring villages to
hear me and my trusty old flute play.

But it was not to last. A new boy
came to our school, and his name was Ned. He played the nose flute
too, and although he was not as talented as I was, he had the best,
newest nose flute you could get. He had a Honker 3000! My old,
worn-out flute could not compare. Soon, Ned got all the nose flute
parts that I used to play. Everyone started calling him Nice Nose
Ned.

In the schools concert that
year, Nice Nose Ned got the big nose flute solo. And do you know what
I had to play, Perry the Platypus? The triangle! And do you
know how many times I got to play it? Once! Just one time, at
the very end of the song, did they need me and my dinging.

Everybody laughed at me and threw
rotten doonkelberries. It was the worst night of my life. After that,
I put my nose flute away, and have never played since.

Until tonight! Doofenshmirtzs
expression changed from sad and forlorn to evilly excited in a split
second. Tonight, I will show the entire tri-state area that I
shouldve been the one with the solo, by playing the biggest
nose flute EVER!!!

Doofenshmirtz pulled a remote
control out of his pocket. See this, Perry the Platypus? This
remote turns the Blow-inator on and off. When I turn the Blow-inator
on, it will play the nose flute by blowing and moving back and forth
on its rail to the different holes. Neat, huh?

Perry stared stonily back at the
evil scientist.

You just dont appreciate the
beauty of traditional Dreuselsteinain instruments, do you? snapped
Doofenshmirtz. Well, that will change, Perry the Platypus, when I
fire up the Blow-inator, in about he looked at his watch
three minutes! In three minutes, it will be nine-thirty, the
exact time that Nice Nose Ned played his nose flute solo!

As the evil scientist was distracted
with his monologue, Perry worked on escaping the trap. He had managed
work his arms free, and while Doofenshmirtzs back was turned, he
pulled out his case of animal-summoning whistles.

Just wait until you hear the
sound of the nose flute, Doofenshmirtz was saying. Its such
a lovely

Perry chose a whistle and blew.

Instantly a cloud of moths swarmed
into the room. They settled on the fabric of Perrys trap, and, in
a matter of moments, had eaten it all away. Perry dropped to the
ground and slipped the whistle back into its case as, mission
accomplished, the moths left.

Perry the Platypus!
Doofenshmirtz goggled at him. I thought for sure youd stay put
this time, after all, that trap was softow!

Perry had interrupted him by
knocking him to the ground. Seizing the remote from his hand, Perry
leapt over his nemesis and onto a crate. He studied the remote. Sure
enough, right there, was a big, red, self-destruct button.

No, Perry the Platypus, not the
self-destruct button! shouted Doofenshmirtz.

Perry ignored him and went for the
button. His finger was a centimeter away when Doofenshmirtz cried out
again.

Perry the Platypus, wait! he
shouted.

Perry paused and gazed down at
Doofenshmirtz with an exasperated expression.

Perry the Platypus what harm
would it do to let me play my giant nose flute? asked
Doofenshmirtz. I dont understand whats so wrong with that.
It wont hurt anybody. He stood up. Now that I think about
it, there have been lots of things I couldve done, that wouldnt
have hurt anybody. Like my shadow puppets on the moon. And Doofania.
And erasing the messages I left at my girlfriends house. Why did
you have to stop me then, too?

Perry glared at Doofenshmirtz. What
kind of question was that? It was Perrys job to stop Doofenshmirtz
from carrying out his schemes. It was that simple.

Doofenshmirtz went on. Every time
I want to do something, you have to destroy it, dont you? Even
when it doesnt really affect anybody except me. I dont get it,
Perry the Platypus. Cant you let me have my fun, just once? Do you
have to make it so that I fail at everything I do in life? I
couldnt play my nose flute at that concert years ago, and I cant
play it tonight either?

Perry glanced down at the remote
control, and at his finger poised over the red button. He glanced
over at the evil scientist looking desperately up at him. He glanced
at the Blow-inator and the giant nose flute that, if he so chose, he
could blow up in a mere second.

His finger trembled.

Could he really let Doofenshmirtz
get away with it? He had never before even entertained such an idea.
If Doofenshmirtz was doing something, it was his job to stop it. That
was all hed ever thought about. He had never considered that maybe
there would be no harm in letting his scheme go.

He remembered what Monogram had said
while giving him his mission. Its up to you to stop him,
Agent P. Were counting on you.

Monogram was counting on him. He
couldnt let down his boss.

His finger steadied.

Then he hesitated again as he
remembered the other part of what Monogram had said. I dont
know what Doofenshmirtz is up to, but it cant be good.

What if it was good, though?
Well, maybe not good- but not bad, at least. What then? Was he still
being counted on to stop Doofenshmirtz if his evil scheme was
no so evil after all?

Perry paused.

Slowly, he reached up and
straightened his fedora.

Then he lowered his arms.

Perry the Platypus?!
Doofenshmirtz gasped, but Perry held up a finger to silence him. He
jumped down from his crate and made his way over to the whiteboard
that was shoved away in a corner. Picking up a marker, he resolutely
made a tally on the side labeled Perry the Platypus. Then he
marched back across the room and extended his hand, offering the
remote to an astonished Doofenshmirtz.

Well thank you, Perry the
Platypus, said Doofenshmirtz. Wow, I never thought Id say
that before. He looked down at his nemesis and smiled. Shall we
call it a truce, just for tonight?

Perry nodded and extended his hand,
and Doofenshmirtz shook it.

Are you ready to hear the
traditional Dreuselsteinian nose flute, Perry the Platypus? asked
Doofenshmirtz, holding up the remote.

Perry only hesitated for an instant
before again nodding.

Okay, lets go out onto the
balcony so we can hear it properly, said Doofenshmirtz. He led
Perry out onto a little balcony that looked over the city. Then he
pushed the button.

A deep, sweet note reverberated in
the summer night air. Perrys eyes widened as the note swelled into
beautiful music. He had never heard anything quite like it.

Ahhh, Doofenshmirtz sighed
happily. I havent heard a nose flute for years. I forgot how
nice it sounded.

Above them, the stars glittered
brightly in the darkened sky as they looked down upon the evil
scientist and the secret agent, the pair of nemesises, sitting
together on a balcony enjoying to the music, for once, at a truce.

Down in the hundreds of small
buildings and houses spread out below them, people paused. Sleeping
people awoke, yet didnt mind because theyd been woken by
something so lovely. Working people stopped what they were doing and
went to peer out their windows. Traveling people pulled their cars
over and turned off the motor to listen.

Back at the Flynn-Fletcher house,
Phineas and Ferb awoke, and for once, Phineas said nothing because he
wanted to hear the music, and Ferb murmured, Listen. Across the
street, Isabella stirred in her sleep, and her dream shifted to one
of her and Phineas sitting together under the setting sun. At
Charlene Doofenshmirtzs house, Vanessa, who was drawing in her
room, continued to doodle while she listened, and her drawing of a
skull inadvertently shifted into a daisy. At the Johnson residence,
Jeremy heard the music and thought about Candace. And back at her own
home, Candace heard the music and thought of Jeremy.

For a minute, the entire tri-state
area was at peace.